The formative years of my life left me with the idea that somehow God just put up with me because that was His job. He had to love me. But I didn’t really think He liked me very much. Maybe a better way to put was that I thought He tolerated me.
After I was Spirit-Baptized I of course had a greater desire to pray than ever before. But I found myself hitting a wall at times with strong thoughts and feels of being rejected by the Father. What I read in the word and what I actually experienced were two different things.
Here’s what I found in the Word about God’s love for me. I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me (John 17:23).
Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love (Ephesians 1:4-The Message). The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, Slow to anger and great in mercy. The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works (Psalm 145:8-9). The Lord opens the eyes of the blind; the Lord raises those who are bowed down; the Lord loves the righteous (Psalm 146:8). The Lord is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities.
For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him (Psalm 103: 8-11).
My mind and emotions were sabotaging my fellowship with my Father! So I read the above scriptures over and over and spoke them aloud as an affirmation of what I believed. When I prayed, I ignored my fickle feelings and my wrong thinking, and over and over I mentioned out loud to Him what I believed about what He thought about me.
Every now and then my emotions would allow me to feel God’s love. When they did, it was wonderful. When they didn’t, I walked by faith and thanked Him for His love. Over a period of time my thoughts and emotions changed, and began to line up with my spirit and with what the Word says about His care and love for me.
Take time to meditate on the Word about the Father’s love for you. It will open to you a new realm of fellowship with Him. Your prayer life will deepen in intimacy with Him, and you’ll become settled and secure in the Father’s embrace.