Our iniquities, our secret heart and its sins [which we would so like to conceal even from ourselves], You have set in the [revealing] light of Your countenance. (Psalm 90:8 Amplified).
We see life through colored glasses; the glasses of our own experience. We’re often not aware of traits, thoughts, dispositions, motives and idiosyncrasies in our lives until something outside of us reveals it. God has designed us to assume the environment we find ourselves in during the formative years of maturation, and we become blind to the familiar. The skinny of this is that what may be normal to me may be out of sync with the way God intended.
Years ago I began to feel uncomfortable within and I knew God wanted to take me somewhere that I’d never been. I came across this verse in Psalms 90 and began to ask the Lord to show me things that He would like to change about me. When you become comfortable with the Lord, and know that He loves you and wants your best; that He will never reject you; then you can really open up to Him and pour out your heart.
I also found Psalm 139: 23-24 (New Living Translation) which reads, Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. (24) Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. I used this verse as a prayer and began to ask the Lord to show me anything that I needed to change. It’s a great way of humbling yourself under the mighty hand of God!
At first, nothing changed. My life seemed unaffected. But after a few weeks, the glasses began to be removed from my eyes, and I began to see things about me that I did not realize were there. A deep root of pride that I did not want to admit I had; perfectionism that put great demands on me and my family; and a performance orientation that drove me to stay busy to feel ok. I began to see these things as tentacles that wrapped around my consciousness and wove into the fabric of my whole life.
I pressed into God, confessing what He showed me was there. And He began to take me on a journey of loving Him that is still slowly releasing me from the hold these dispositions had on my life. The Lord used His Word backed by His unconditional love to begin within me a process of change. I’m still in process, and He continues to remove scales from my eyes about me.
Let me encourage you to pray these two scriptures over your live. You may think you don’t really need to do this. That’s what I thought, but my eyes were blinded by my pride.
It’s so freeing to be able to be honest and real about yourself, and to know that your Father only wants what’s best for you. It starts with a choice to be willing for Him to expose you to yourself. The resulting change really is from glory to glory.